Robert
Lyons
The Eurovision page
In 2001, a plan was hatched, over tea and chocolate digestives at the home of Mr Gerald Farmer, to enter the Eurovision Song Contest.
At no point did anyone concerned think we would even get near being on the telly (except Mr Farmer's brother, Paul, who was already working on the next stage of world domination). Otherwise, we might have made more of an effort to record the song properly.
Or written a better one.
Anyway, here it is, in all it's straight-to-mono, MP3 glory. The grating, screeching noise at the start is supposed to be a 'violin' according to the keyboard that produced it. The grating, screeching noise throughout the rest of the song is Gerald Farmer singing.
And while we're at it, the bitter follow-up to a flop. We could have been famous if we'd really wanted to be. We couldn't be arsed.
Paul Farmer on vocals on this next one, which really puts those plans for world domination into perspective:
The title of the next one says it all. Guaranteed to have the guitar snatched off me at parties...
Now an old song about how a chance meeting with an ex-girlfriend got me thinking about the state of the world.
And a song about failing to get a girlfriend
This one is a bit different - it's ethical columnist Ethan Greenhart singing about humanity. I'm actually trying to sound posh on this, but I still sound like a Brummie c**t