Apple: no plans for 'Nigel'

You can now have your iPod laser-engraved with any words you like - as long as it's nothing offensive.

A visit to the Apple UK online store enables you to buy an iPod and have two short lines of text added on the back. But Apple has added a slightly peculiar form of censorship. Blatantly offensive words are out - so bang goes your chance to complement your bling with an iPod emblazoned with 'Bad Mothafucka' or some other hip-hop epithet. Clearly, Apple doesn't want to have its brand associated with anything derogatory - especially with sexual or racial connotations.

That's understandable, although it represents another petty nod to politically correct etiquette. Surely if we're prepared to shell out over £200 for a music player, they could at least let us decide what was written on it.

However, is Apple operating its own form of petty discrimination - against people called Nigel? Try as you might, it is impossible to have this name engraved - along with variations like Nige or Nigella. It could just be that some web developer at Apple is having a laugh at the expense of a friend. It might just be a glitch. Or is the name Nigel just too squeaky clean and middle class for an edgy brand like Apple's?

Which is kind of ironic since the squarest and most middle-class musician on the planet, Chris Martin, decided to christen his first-born daughter 'Apple'.

Apple declares wars on Nigels, The Register, 19 September 2005